Worst Vacation Ever!!!

Yeah I got two years off.  Yeah, I didn't post here for two fucking years.  Let me just tell you something.  Aztecs suck.  They never plan anything in advance, and they decapitate anyone who is just a little different.  

It turns out that it only takes about six months to walk to Canada from the middle of Mexico.  It also turns out that if you walk across America with an Aztec raiding party, they pretty much just try to kill everyone they meet.   Don't call me a racist or anything.  They compelled me to decapitate a few people as well.  Sometimes my own decapitations were in self defense. 

When you march into a village, burn it down, and then enslave or dismember the survivors, you are kind of guilty by association.  Hell all I wanted to do was to walk to the place where London Ontario will be in the future and see if there was anything that I recognized.   It turns out that there was a small community were London will be.  Stress the word WAS. 

We ended up around where London will be in the winter.  Aztecs weren't accustomed to four seasons, and they flipped the fuck out.   The first sign of snow and it was all just pillage an loot.  We wore the skins of our vanquished as winter coats and dried the carcasses for jerky. 

Again and again I mentioned to the high priest that we could just hunt for deer or fish or something.  We don't have to eat human every freaking day of the week, but there is just no getting through to this guy.  He is convinced that if he doesn't eat somebody at least once a week then he will become impotent and therefore the crops won't be good in the spring.  (He actually does this ritual sacrifice where he defiles a virgin, and just before he cums he rips out her heart, and then he sticks his dick into the aorta and cums into that.  After that he plugs it with corncob and then throws it into a cenote.  Apparently it is a good fertilizer.)

So yeah, I'm getting a little tired of this shit.  The worst thing about the whole thing too, is that I still can't get any good indie music here.  All of the chanting of screams of terror just don't have the same emotional quality as somebody like a Bel and Sebastian.  I wonder what the Aztecs would do if they could just hear some Jason Mraz.  They would freak the fuck out I bet.