OMG Aztecs Can Be So Annoying

Okay so like it was the first day of summer in the year 1510. The sun rose over the temple of the moon. I appeared in a flash of light juxtaposed against the morning twilight. The locals instantly sensed an omen and armed themselves, ready to disembowel me. Luckily a friend of mine in the program tattooed some Aztec hieroglyphics into my skin, explaining how I was a messenger sent to teach the locals the "tongue of the gods," to prepare them for their reckoning.

So they took me to the house of the local high priest, and rather than giving me any time to rest, they made me teach them...Seriously, I just traveled back in time five hundred years, and I can't even take nap. I think this is going to suck.

So anyway, they don't have any copy machines, so I had to start by teaching them the English alphabet, by writing in in the sand with a stick. My first class had about twenty students, and it seemed like it lasted for two hours. They don't have any clocks here so I didn't know when I would begin or end. Finally I just made some hand gestures and left.

I really wanted to check out Teotiuacan. I wanted to find all of the cool bars and stuff. I went to what I thought was downtown, but was actually a temple plaza, where they were performing some human sacrifices. There was this amazing barbecue smell. I totally got taken in by it, but failed to notice the rack of skulls that was at the base of one of the temples. This dude called me over and offered me a piece of meat off of this bone that looked really long. I tried some of the meat, it was pretty good, but later I realized that it was a human femur. I'll tell you what that is going to be the last time I ate femur, despite how delicious it was.

Man, it was kind of a bummer walking around ancient Mexico. Everybody was staring at me. When I tried to get a snack, I didn't know how. I don't know if people use money here, or how can I even get some money. I'm going to totally ask the high priest later if he can give me a loan or something. I'll pay him back.

Oh and talk about racist. I'm pretty sure I just got shot with a blow gun dart. Back home in Canada people usually don't treat foreigners this poorly.

Toodles for now.